ode
i swear to god you think about me sometimes because i can feel it when you do. i want you to be distraught because of me to remember me and regret how we fell apart slowly. why have all of our friends forgotten how we planned to live in the house we built together in minecraft in middle school? how i told you every feeling i had, and in response, you poured them back to me? did they all forget?
why did we always meet at the mall? i don't know. the strange intimacy of walking around the same place twice a week for two years. masks on, and always, always, visit claire's. i don't think we went anywhere else, really
we still share songs in different playlists do you listen to the same things i do? i love with the chords in my songs and the strings on my violin and you still have claim to the notes.
and when i say everything reminds me of you i mean everything, even when im looking at a girl that ive just met i think to myself, is this a rebound? and even when im looking at a guy that ive been talking to for months i wonder, will he let me to stop thinking of you? am i fated to this cycle
i still think of you when i’m leaning against a doorframe at a party where the strobe lights are a bit too bright and think we could have done this together. i think you broke me forever because i can’t love with abandon like i used to i can’t love anything like you and it’s devastating. this sickness has rotted me